I’m Dead Serious. This Actually Happened…
Tweet Pin It by Tommy Gimler Even the retarded kid Corky from Life Goes On knows that when someone you love dies, you either put them in the ground or put them in a fire within a couple of days. But...
View ArticleThe Only Way Danica Patrick Would Win A Sprint Cup Race Is Everybody Else...
by Tommy Gimler You know, it’s sweet poetry like that that will move Richard Petty and his old balls right up to the top of the list of guys who can fuck my sister. Talking to reporters at the...
View ArticleJeff Gordon Gets The Ultimate Revenge On Pussy Blogger
by Frank Rhombus Let’s be honest. Most bloggers, including everybody here at The DUD, have never set foot in a Major League batter’s box, caught an NFL pass, or completed even one lap as a...
View ArticleIn The DUGout: Boogity Boogity Bristol
special to the DUD from the Dug Food City is a grocery store chain mainly based in Kentucky, Virginia, and Tennessee, and they have the worst logo I have ever seen. For some reason, the “C” is part of...
View ArticleBeing On Brad Keselowski’s Pit Crew These Days Is Almost As Dangerous As...
by Frank Rhombus I mean, unless you actually want Hep C. When they finally waved the checkered flag at the NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Pocono Raceway yesterday, it was Matt Kenseth passing dipshits Kyle...
View ArticleKyle Rowdy Busch Is The Shit And Keith Olbermann Is Just Shit
by The Doug I remember thinking I was supposed to hate Kyle Busch when he started showing up in NASCAR races over 10 years ago. He came from trucks, had a reputation, got his nickname via a Days of...
View ArticleNature’s Bakery Finally Realizes $15 Million A Year For Somebody Who Sucks Is...
by The Doug Danica Patrick lost her NASCAR sponsorship with Nature’s Bakery. They claim she wasn’t fulfilling her off the track agreement because she was not properly promoting the Oregon-based hippie...
View ArticleThis Dude At Talladega Decided Left Turn After Left Turn Was Too Important To...
by Tommy Gimler Roll Tide! It’s a known fact that being able to read has been optional in Alabama since 1819, but apparently so is using a restroom to relieve yourself. Just ask this guy: A post...
View ArticleThe Perfect Redneck Found A Checkered Can Of Busch In His 18-Pack And Won A...
by Frank Rhombus You don’t need all of your teeth to feel like the luckiest man on the planet. Meet Darren Gallagher. He’s the 55-year-old retired bricklayer who’s going to the Daytona 500 for free...
View ArticleAaron Rodgers Kissed Danica Patrick And Then She Wrecked At The Daytona 500
by Tommy Gimler I once again missed the Daytona 500 because I was on the golf course and I prefer right turns, but apparently congratulations are in order for Austin Dillion for winning the sum bitch....
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